I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
