C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
