please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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