nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Do vagina's smell?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
