I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
