I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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