Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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