It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We are all done wearing pants today
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
