It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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