She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
