just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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