Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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