your room smells of hookers.
And success
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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