I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
