she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
