let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
