Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know

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(505): View more from New Mexico

Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend

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(989): View more from Michigan

It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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(251): View more from Alabama

Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn

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