omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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