HIV tests are more positive than that guy
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
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