ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
