I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
