He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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