I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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