I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
