Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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