i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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