My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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