Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
