I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
