I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
