I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
