I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
