I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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