the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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