the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
