So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
