And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
