Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
