You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize
