he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize