How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
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