Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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