No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Even my vagina gasped.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
