so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
