shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
