we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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