What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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