Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize