she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
