Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Your tits are I can't wait for
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
