I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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