thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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