Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
