I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
