i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
