ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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